Last week I had two phone conversations that made me think.

(Actually -MOST conversations make me think- at least a little! 🙂 )

One was with the nurse from my diabetic management team.  They call every couple of months just to see if I am still here- ask me a bunch of questions that they want yes or no answers to, and generally waste my time.  But – they do get me free testing supplies and needles- so I put up with the inconvenience.  One question they ALWAYS ask is – am I depressed?  Has my depression caused me to miss out  on business or social activities?  Have I been diagnosed as in a state of depression?  I realize that there are three questions there, but they add up to one. 1+1+1=1  Am I depressed?

no.

well, maybe, since you keep asking.

Conversation #2 was with my brother. 

He is depressed.  Or as he describes it- down.

We talked- we laughed- we commiserated with each other’s troubles- and then he asked- ” Has your life turned out the way you thought it would?”

no.

or, maybe?

I’m not sure I thought that much about a finished life.  Like how it would turn out.  I just lived it, trying to do the best thing, attempting to follow God’s leading- looking for ways to do that which was right and good.  Loving, trusting, obeying, following, believing, teaching, upholding, giving, taking, reading….

I made a lot of mistakes.  I did a lot of things right. 

I didn’t have a master plan- I just did what came next to the best of my ability and understanding.

I’m not depressed.  I am pollyanna.

I think happy thoughts and search out joy filled moments. 

And I escape harsh reality in flights into literature.

And my life is,… well, my life is my life.

I’ve lived every moment of it- experienced joy and sorrow, success and failure, lost and found- it has added up to the grand total of me.

1+1+1+1+1=1 

My math skills are depressed.